Time sure does fly by fast these days. Dave and I were just talking yesterday about when, where and what we were doing 12-13 years ago. Where our families were in their lives, who was married, who had kids, who had bought a house..... A lot can change is 12 years, graduations, first homes purchased, death, births, a fight lost to leukemia, marriages, divorce, and divorce again and again, loss of beloved pets, getting new jobs, loss of jobs, a battle with breast cancer WON, being broke, wrecks, medical emergencies, medical bills, the list can go on and on.
We have treasured our lives together even when it hurt so much we thought we might die of the physical pain we both felt. It hasn't been easy, nope not at all. I admire the couples that it has been easy for and yes there are that very few that has been able to experience a blissfully easy marriage, we know a very special couple who as the husband said a few years back, "being married to her is easy, we don't fight or argue or go to bed mad at each other; I can't even imagine having a hard marriage." I think that is wonderful but not the norm, maybe is it because I am too hard-headed and stubborn (I get told that every now and then) :-)
Dave and I have what we call "discussions" often and even more so now that we have children. Isn't it ironic we wanted these cute little beings so bad, they get here and BAMMMMM boy can they cause some heated "discussions"
Want to know something? Dave and I added it up one time just after my brother went through his nasty divorce from his first wife and got engaged to his second wife 3 months later, having dated her the entire time he was going through his divorce. WE (Dave and I) made it, we did, we were the only cousins on my dad's side of the family to stayed married.
Out of six other cousins,we are the only ones still together with our original spouse. Now if you count both sides of the family there are well over a dozen divorced cousins, aunts and uncle. Crazy isn't? Please tell me you think this too. Why is it so easy to decide to want an out? Let me tell you something Marriage ain't easy BUT divorce will just about kill you. Just watching my brother going through his and the stupid stuff he did during the divorce would make for an R rated movie. I viewed all of it from a small, silent spot outside the sickness for over a year. Pregnant during it all with Joshua for 9 months of my brother's living hell. The stress alone made me wash my hands of the ick situation months before it would be "settled", if you care to call it that.
My parents loved each other like no other couple I have ever known. Did they have "discussions" Oh yes they did, never in front of us. But it was always behind their bedroom door in voices never over a regular tone. This of course is one of the flaws Dave and I need to work on. It just isn't fair to children to ever see their parents having a "discussion". Kids are like sponges and what they see as a child they WILL carry with them to adulthood. My parent's were great roll models for me and my brother (not sure when he veered off the road)
We all have choices, to choose to do and say how we want to live our lives. God gave all free will, we all have the opportunity to make our own path, to pick which fork in the road we want to take. Having a successful marriage is ALL about choices. To choose to love and respect your spouse, to be faithful to your spouse, to love them even when they don't love themselves, to hold their hand when they are sick, to be the shoulder to cry on or the hand to hold singing in church on Sunday morning. I actually hold Dave's hand at Church on Sunday morning more than I hold it any other day of the week.
So..... do I still love Dave after all these year, would I change anything, even the tough times, ABSOLUTELY I still love him and I wouldn't even change the tough times we have lived through and survived. You betcha I love this man. Could I ring his neck? Sure many times BUT he isn't going anywhere and I'm sure not going anywhere either.
Love ya baby,
~Here's to another 12 years~
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